Funnies, faux-pas and tomfoolery. A place to remember exactly what it was that you shouldn't have said.
From Ars Magica
(Cullens character is undercover):
Cullen : I dont wish to expose myself.
GM: I'm glad to hear it.
From Rise of the Runelords
-- 'the short block game
(At the weaponsmiths)
Jules:"Hello, my name is Jules, and rhis is my friend Sandy..,
(As the party barbarian tries to purchase an axe)
Sandy: "does sir swing to the left or the right? i do like a man who swings...."
Jules : "we heard about you killing about those goblins, and I said to sandy, aint he bold.." Sandy :"ooo, bold" Jules: "bold."
--'the longblock game: (Repeated NPC line)
- "Oh...so YOU'RE Mal. i've read the books.. I'm sorry to hear about your little.....problem."
(Fortress of the Stone Giants)
- Angela: "Quick, Kevin - to the inappropriatemobile !"
(Spires of Xin-Shalast)
- Andy : "...as you summon forth your spell from the nether regions...um, I mean nether realms.,,"
From the SOCS game:
- Mark (proudly): I've got a 10 in Machinegun!
- GM - Kevin: What gun have you got?
- Mark (quietly): Erm. A pistol?
From Walker in the Wastes:
- Matt S (keen to get his weapon out): "Do I get it up before him ?".
- Matt S (to Arab guard) : "Would you like to come back to my tent later ? I can pay you..."
From Matt's "Leaving the Building" game:
- Matt: "What happens in Vegas.....goes on Youtube."
From Andy's TORG game
- (When asked how to get something out from the stomach of a T Rex)
- Jeff: "Rex-lax."
From Smallville : Littleton
- Charles: "What the hell's going on? Why are you behind all this?"
- Grundy: "Because I'm an evil genius, Charles, and that's my role in this kind of story."
- Charles: "Because I'm an evil genius, and I don't like leaving witnesses alive. I think that's number fifteen on the list."
- Johnathan: What's number fourteen?
- Watchtower: Don't mention the list.
- Neil: It's the Archers meets Matrix 3, isn't it?
- Bus Passenger (note: all NPCs on the bus have very, very, bad West Country accents): "Ooh, now, don't you be saying bad things about Agnes" (the bus driver). "She does her best."
- Max: "She's about to be thrown out of the carriage if she doesn't get this bus moving."
- Bus Passenger: Oh, now, steady on there, young lady, we don't want to be saying anything ... oh, hang on ..." (receives a phone call) "Hello? Oh yes, hello. Really? Right, OK. Sure. Oh, I didn't realize that. Right, OK, bye." (Hangs up) "Sorry about that, love, oh by the way ... DIE FOR THE MASTER!"
- Watchtower: And from behind you you hear another voice (the bus driver) say "Yes, she must die for the Master!" ... (and) a couple of other passengers stand up and say "She must die for the Master!"
- Max: (Max is attacked by a bunch of West-Country-accented Ninjas, and announces she will kill them all, rolling a ...) Sixteen.
- Watchtower: Excellent. You win. You manage to comprehensively beat the crap out of every living soul on this bus.
- Max: "Rose, you don't look too good. What happened?"
- Rose (groaning) "... Vodka."
- Neil: Shooting this accurate can only be the work of Imperial Charleses!
- Scott D: Aren't you a little short for a Charles?
GM "I'll give you a D6 for your Mum." (A bonus obtained while trying to recall information about the slave company Practical Solutions.) Not sure who spoke this: "I have a D8 Brothel."