Quote board

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Funnies, faux-pas and tomfoolery. A place to remember exactly what it was that you shouldn't have said.

From Ars Magica

(Cullens character is undercover):

Cullen : I dont wish to expose myself.

GM: I'm glad to hear it.

From Rise of the Runelords

-- 'the short block game

(At the weaponsmiths)

Jules:"Hello, my name is Jules, and rhis is my friend Sandy..,

(As the party barbarian tries to purchase an axe)

Sandy: "does sir swing to the left or the right? i do like a man who swings...."

(Much later)

Jules : "we heard about you killing about those goblins, and I said to sandy, aint he bold.." Sandy :"ooo, bold" Jules: "bold."

--'the longblock game: (Repeated NPC line)

"Oh...so YOU'RE Mal. i've read the books.. I'm sorry to hear about your little.....problem."

(Fortress of the Stone Giants)

Angela: "Quick, Kevin - to the inappropriatemobile !"

(Spires of Xin-Shalast)

Andy : "...as you summon forth your spell from the nether regions...um, I mean nether realms.,,"

From the SOCS game:

Mark (proudly): I've got a 10 in Machinegun!
GM - Kevin: What gun have you got?
Mark (quietly): Erm. A pistol?

From Walker in the Wastes:

Matt S (keen to get his weapon out): "Do I get it up before him ?".
Matt S (to Arab guard) : "Would you like to come back to my tent later ? I can pay you..."

From Matt's "Leaving the Building" game:

Matt: "What happens in Vegas.....goes on Youtube."

From Andy's TORG game

(When asked how to get something out from the stomach of a T Rex)
Jeff: "Rex-lax."

From Smallville : Littleton

Charles: "What the hell's going on? Why are you behind all this?"
Grundy: "Because I'm an evil genius, Charles, and that's my role in this kind of story."
Charles: "Because I'm an evil genius, and I don't like leaving witnesses alive. I think that's number fifteen on the list."
Johnathan: What's number fourteen?
Watchtower: Don't mention the list.
Neil: It's the Archers meets Matrix 3, isn't it?
Bus Passenger (note: all NPCs on the bus have very, very, bad West Country accents): "Ooh, now, don't you be saying bad things about Agnes" (the bus driver). "She does her best."
Max: "She's about to be thrown out of the carriage if she doesn't get this bus moving."
Bus Passenger: Oh, now, steady on there, young lady, we don't want to be saying anything ... oh, hang on ..." (receives a phone call) "Hello? Oh yes, hello. Really? Right, OK. Sure. Oh, I didn't realize that. Right, OK, bye." (Hangs up) "Sorry about that, love, oh by the way ... DIE FOR THE MASTER!"
Watchtower: And from behind you you hear another voice (the bus driver) say "Yes, she must die for the Master!" ... (and) a couple of other passengers stand up and say "She must die for the Master!"
Max: (Max is attacked by a bunch of West-Country-accented Ninjas, and announces she will kill them all, rolling a ...) Sixteen.
Watchtower: Excellent. You win. You manage to comprehensively beat the crap out of every living soul on this bus.
Max: "Rose, you don't look too good. What happened?"
Rose (groaning) "... Vodka."
Neil: Shooting this accurate can only be the work of Imperial Charleses!
Scott D: Aren't you a little short for a Charles?

From Firefly

GM "I'll give you a D6 for your Mum." (A bonus obtained while trying to recall information about the slave company Practical Solutions.) Not sure who spoke this: "I have a D8 Brothel."